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CoolNcalm
Member
Joined: 2 Apr 2008
Posts: 45
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# Posted: 26 Apr 2008 01:04
Reply
Ok help me out here guys, I am struggling. I was served divorce papers this week. Fine, I was expecting that. But the dead beat dad who hasn't seen his beautiful daughter in two and a half years is suing for joint legal custody of her, with a third of the year spent with him 
She is just three years old. She hasn't been without me in her life. She does not know this man-he is a stranger to her, and worse, he is violent and has said to me that he doesn't want her, has no feelings for her-doesn't care at all. And yes I have that in writing.
I am losing my mind with worry here
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StressedOut
Member
Joined: 3 Apr 2008
Posts: 25
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# Posted: 28 Apr 2008 00:47
Reply
First off, I am so sorry for what this deadbeat is doing.
Secondly, try to remember that the mother in most cases is the one who is given custody. And since you have the fact that he doesn't love his daughter on paper, that could count as evidence and discredit him
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CoolNcalm
Member
Joined: 2 Apr 2008
Posts: 45
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# Posted: 28 Apr 2008 04:59
Reply
Yes, but unfortunately I live in a state that pushes frequent contact with both parents as being in the best interests of the child. They go to the point that if there is a restraining order against one parent because they beat the other, that they will still order visitation with the child, with the hand over to take place in public, such as at a restaurant.
Sigh. Lawyer time tomorrow, I need to meditate and try and sleep, it's almost 5am. I'll be grey before the week is out.
Coping and unwinding techniques would be appreciated.
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Vishal
Admin
Joined: 15 Apr 2007
Posts: 92
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# Posted: 28 Apr 2008 09:04 · Edited by: Vishal
Reply
Remember the universal truth: Whatever has to happen, will happen, no matter how hard you try.
...And whatever happens, happens for the good.
You may not like it initially but ultimately it'll be for your good. So stop worrying and leave everything on the almighty.
I know it's easier said than done but the sooner you do it, the better.
May peace be with you.
__________________
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CoolNcalm
Member
Joined: 2 Apr 2008
Posts: 45
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# Posted: 30 Apr 2008 02:33
Reply
Thank you Vishal. The hardest thing right now for me is to lean on the One that I should be doing and I know that is wrong. I cannot find the inner peace that I need for prayer-and stupidly I know that prayer could take me to that place.
There is just so much at stake, for her life and her safety, and I mean-the dude doesn't want her. He is doing this only to hurt me.
The only thing is that if a custody case is successful for me, then certain things will be easier afterwards. But for the immediate-I need to sleep. I need to relax and I cannot. It is causing health problems, I am showing the symptoms of a stomach ulcer, and I just need a way to let go of the stress if only for a few hours.
Vishal-when times are tough, how do you find peace? I have faith and yet I am unable to lean on God-is that something that just comes when you finally can go no more, or how else can I learn that?
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Vishal
Admin
Joined: 15 Apr 2007
Posts: 92
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# Posted: 30 Apr 2008 08:29
Reply
Quoting: CoolNcalm Vishal-when times are tough, how do you find peace?
Listen to spiritual discourses.
Read spiritual books. Eckhart Tolle's "Power of Now" is amazing. If you have an ipod, you can get an audio book and listen to it. It works great. I do that every time I stray from my goal.
Do breathing exercises like Kapalbhati and Anuloma Viloma. They help clear up your mind and help you to think positively.
Quoting: CoolNcalm I have faith and yet I am unable to lean on God-is that something that just comes when you finally can go no more, or how else can I learn that?
I can understand that. The ego is very powerful and in difficult times, it simply cannot let go no matter how hard you try. Take a break. Change places. Talk to your parents if they are supportive. Change can help a lot in changing your perspective. Till the judgment day, you need to keep yourself and distracted. Worry never made things better.
On the spiritual side, you may have heard from many that why bad things happen to good people. It's just the God's way of making us more strong and devoted towards him. In adversity good people always become more good and bad people become more bad.
Just hang in and watch your health 
__________________
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TajviRAC
Member
Joined: 7 Apr 2008
Posts: 80
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# Posted: 2 May 2008 13:38
Reply
Bad things happen.
They happen just to put us into some tests so that we don't break apart. So, don't worry about the "father" claiming over the daughter.
You'll have enough scope to prove your right and luckily, the child is also asked about her preference.
Don’t let yourself down, stand up, fight till you can. At least for the sake of the daughter.
Good luck
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