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CoolNcalm
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Joined: 2 Apr 2008
Posts: 45
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# Posted: 30 Apr 2008 02:38
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Of how much value to most people is talking out problems with others, or crying it out alone? I hear it touted as useful, but at the same time it seems so often that it's just self destructive-the crying at least. It just brings me down, makes me more depressed.
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Vishal
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Joined: 15 Apr 2007
Posts: 92
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# Posted: 1 May 2008 01:49
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Both can help if you don't get addicted to them. It's only when you get addicted to talking your problems out or crying often, you sort of start thinking about the problems as part of your life and discarding it out of your life may seem to be impossible. Many also develop self pity in the process which make the matter even more worse.
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TajviRAC
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Joined: 7 Apr 2008
Posts: 80
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# Posted: 15 May 2008 13:42
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I saw cases where bursting into tears or crying aloud gave a lot of relief to a stressed person.
I was often told that after a severe emotional or mental shock, if you can't ventilate your sorrows or grief through tears, that's bad and you may get psychological problems including long-lasting stress.
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onebeing
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Joined: 2 Sep 2008
Posts: 6
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# Posted: 2 Sep 2008 00:55 · Edited by: onebeing
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Talking through your thoughts always seems like the best answer to dealing with them but it is not. It is important to remember that there is a big difference between what you "Think the World is" and what it actually is. Your thoughts are not reality, they can change at any time. Your thoughts are an artificial image that you place over what is actually happening (this image can be very ugly, depending on what you are thinking)
Example. Say that you are late for work and do your best to get there as soon as possible. On the way there you are thinking about what your boss might say, what the consequences might be, you judge yourself and what you did the night before that made you late, etc. All of these thoughts are created by you and have nothing to do with what is actually happening. You don't really know that any of your thoughts are truth...your boss might not mind at all, there might not be consequences, and maybe there is no real reason to judge yourself at all. But you do and this is what causes your stress.
Talking about your thoughts is paying attention to them and your attention gives them strength and makes them grow. The more attention you give to your stress the more it will affect you (which is why we usually end up breaking down into tears when we talk about it). Get out of your thoughts and come back to what really is.
there is a difference between an experience and what you think of that experience.
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Vishal
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Joined: 15 Apr 2007
Posts: 92
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# Posted: 2 Sep 2008 02:27
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Quoting: onebeing Talking about your thoughts is paying attention to them and your attention gives them strength and makes them grow. The more attention you give to your stress the more it will affect you (which is why we usually end up breaking down into tears when we talk about it). Get out of your thoughts and come back to what really is.
Very true!!! We usually make a mountain out of a mole hill when we worry.
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Mika
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Joined: 5 Sep 2008
Posts: 20
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# Posted: 7 Sep 2008 17:32
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I find that after a good cry I am usually ok, it is a great stress buster for me. I don't think I do it often enough, so sometimes I end up with headaches and just feeling plain sick.
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cooks
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Joined: 5 Sep 2008
Posts: 20
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# Posted: 11 Sep 2008 01:38
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I have had my shares of the cry outs during the first month of being a new parent, both times.  It does work and its not something I do many times, maybe twice a year if work is really driving me nuts.
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