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touchofteal
Forums Member
Joined: 27 May 2011
Posts: 1
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#1 · Posted: 27 May 2011 18:55
I dont even know what to do with my life anymore, its like I solely depend on other people, mainly guys I like for my happiness, and I hate it. I have always been this way, and the minute that guy I like doesetn text me back or I have to sit home alone all day it feels like the world is crashing down. I just moved, and have not made any friends yet, except for a few people. There's this guy who I'm not sure if he likes me, but I am way too dependent on his actions for being in a good mood. I cry all the time, and cant seem to pull myself together, someone please help me? tell me what I need to do to pick myself up and get my life straight again.
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Vishal
Admin
Joined: 15 Apr 2007
Posts: 204
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#2 · Posted: 30 May 2011 01:33
Dear touchofteal,
Try taking the Sudarshan Kriya course by Art of Living Foundation (Sri Sri Ravi Shankar). You'll discover the joy that is within you and you'll no longer have to depend on outside sources for happiness.
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Zara Mari
Forums Member
Joined: 13 Jun 2011
Posts: 17
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#3 · Posted: 13 Jun 2011 09:54
Hi.
I experienced the same when I was still in high school until I reached 22 y/o. I loved somebody so much and by the time he left, I always find myself crying, I depended on him for 9 years. The only thing that pushed me to do well in School and job is the thinking of "when I see him, he'll ask for me again". That somehow worked for 9 years. Whenever I'm hurt, I talked to almost everybody from my mom to my friends about how I feel. The feeling of emptiness moved out in my system when I started engaging myself to sports as I meet a lot of people. I also spend more time with my family and friends. In case I'll be alone on a weekend, I invite my friends over or visit one of them. I talk a lot about my problem or feelings to someone and when I'm tired of repeating my stories, the hurt no longer lives inside me.
What I can suggest is, if you keep thinking that you need someone to be happy, or somebody is the reason for your sadness, you're just giving them control of your life. Try to control yourself and let not others do it for you because if that's the case, you'll be losing yourself until you can no longer take a grip of it.
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choiceimprint
Forums Member
Joined: 6 Jun 2011
Posts: 14
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#4 · Posted: 24 Jun 2011 17:14
Find out who you are and who you want to be. Find out what you like. Focus on these things. Work on you.
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razer99
Forums Member
Joined: 19 Aug 2011
Posts: 3
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#5 · Posted: 19 Aug 2011 17:20
A lot of times what happens is that we lose one activity or feeling without properly replacing it to substitute with something else. Think of smokers and how they work. Smokers will often quit, but they don't take the time to actually look for something else to replace their smoking.
And that's what really drains them. I wish I could tell you the specific activity that you can do to get over it, but part of it is being able to discover that activity.
For me personally I found that reading helped a lot, writing whatever came to my mind, and then forcing myself to go and walk around.
The brain is trained to feel a certain way, you were able to train it like that without even noticing, its' going to take effort to reverse that and it will be hard work. But one by one, you'll find it's easier. And most important take it one day at a time. One day.
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Riel
Forums Member
Joined: 13 Aug 2011
Posts: 3
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#6 · Posted: 23 Aug 2011 16:03
Find something to do and do it with all your heart. Even if it is mundane or boring, do it and keep on doing it. Don't give up even if you feel like it, do it. The meaning will come and you will find purpose in it.
If you can find something inherently meaningful, like charity work, that is great, but not a prerequisite. I know it sounds old school and something your father will tell you but there is ages of wisdom in it - Do It
The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.
- George Bernard Shaw
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Mindsets and Set Minds
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Vishal
Admin
Joined: 15 Apr 2007
Posts: 204
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#7 · Posted: 25 Aug 2011 00:33
Riel: Find something to do and do it with all your heart. Even if it is mundane or boring, do it and keep on doing it.
That's an amazing piece of advice Riel! When all your energy is focused on the doing, there is no time for thoughts (negative or positive) to creep in. The end result is absolute peace.
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