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GoodTimes
Forums Member
Joined: 8 Jul 2011
Posts: 3
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#1 · Posted: 8 Jul 2011 23:42
I dont want to pour everything out because i dont think anybody really cares anyway.
But as long as i could remember ive been stressed and since 2005 its gotten worst. Im 24 years old now and I understand that if i continue to feel this stressed it may cause health problems.
Since i had my daughter in 2008 Life has changed for me. Because i have more responsibility now its even more stressful. I know in life you must have a goal, a job, motivation and you must learn to cope with the troubles of life.
I find myself unable to adapt to these things, Im selfish, I worry to much about my child, I constantly have headaches and for the most part im only stress free for a few hours out of the day, By nighttime im bored and just tired of everything that can possibly entertain me.
I have no interest in anything in fact i barely pulled myself together to register on this forum.
Wheather im sad, angry, whatever, i dont know. But there is something going on inside me and even if i have the oppurtunity to see a therapist i honestly would not know where to begin.
I lost my oldest brother @ 10 years old, he died in a car crash when he was 16, I lost my 2nd youngest brother In 2005 due to a deadly desease he was born with called alexanders desease.
I have a half brother i never see because of me having my own place now and not living my mother. My father is a convict who has been in and out of prison his whole life and cant ever come back to this country.
He was born in guatemala. Anyways So no father figure there.
Since i turned 16 years old i pretty much distant myself from all my friends and i dont know why, I turned from a fun having skateboarding kid to a angry unmotivated person.
I can see the stress in my face, Im only 24.
I think about death alot because i know its inevitable and because i have been around it since a child.
I have also been locked up a few times as a juvenile and at that point when i turned 18 and finally got off probation i changed my life and started working and doing good.
But deep inside there is something going on i cant even begin to explaine the source. Im just so fed up with everything, Bills, Doctors appointments, ciggerettes,, everything.
I love my daughter and her mother and i love life, I think thats my motivation right there. I often wonder what my life would be like had my brothers still been here with me. Since they died my mom pretty much stopped mothering me and just went distant. I understand i really do.
I feel the same way, Well at this point it seems I'am explaining everything and if your still reading i appreciate your concern and time and patience.
I dont expect to be cured from who iam, Because i believe everything ive been through contributed to who iam today, Quite frankly it seems impossible to change me.
The flip side is im open for suggestion and im willing to try new things, Anything really.
I started going back to the gym a few days ago, Eating healthy, Drinking more water and having barely a soda a day, I used to drink 6 a day at max.
But i still feel drained of energy, No motivation to push myself further than i preplanned to go during a work out. Im having nightmares and its all becoming to much for me to deal with on my own.
I can now admit im not as strong as i thought i was. I know others have dealt with this or even worst situations in there life, Im not comparing myself to anybody.
I just want to make my life better for those around me and find the motivation i need. I have it pretty made over here and i dont think i appreciate what i have.
But there are alot of downsides in my life still today that def contribute to my stress and problems.
I dont expect any reply, I just had to say what i said. There is so much more but not even a lifetime is enough time, ya know?
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Vishal
Admin
Joined: 15 Apr 2007
Posts: 193
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#2 · Posted: 11 Jul 2011 08:13
Dear Victor,
I'm sorry I couldn't reply to your post sooner. When I saw your post, I had to go out of station the next day and hence, being a little long post, I postponed it and then eventually forgot about it.
Our mind is like a glass. Whatever we see or feel is through this glass. Our childhood experiences leave a very strong impressions on our mind. And as we grow, if the experiences later on, seem to justify our past experiences then these impressions become even more stronger. As the mind (glass) becomes clouded due to these impressions, so does our perception.
The only way to nullify these impressions in our mind is through meditation. I would highly recommend you to read the following book:
Beyond Happiness: The Zen Way to True Contentment by Ezra Bayda
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Riel
Forums Member
Joined: 13 Aug 2011
Posts: 3
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#3 · Posted: 13 Aug 2011 11:44
Hey,
May I make two suggestions?
Re-read your own letter/post and notice all the contradictions in it. For instance you say you are selfish, but you worry too much about your daughter. A truly selfish person worries only about himself; his life does not change when his daughter is born... (I think you are too hard on yourself/why do you want to do more in the gym than you pre-planned since you just joined? Shouldn't you just get fit first and then try tricks?) Also re-write or re-order your letter for yourself. It is amazing how much clarity we gain by being clear ourselves to our self.
Sometimes we turn one feeling into another in order to cope and then we can suppress that feeling not to be a total jerk. For instance feelings of loss into anger. That leaves little energy for life or to enjoy life. It is possible that you turned certain feelings that you thought you could not cope with at the time into feelings that you could cope with or that was more acceptable in your environment. It is necessary that you recognise this and deal with those feelings. Therapy can help you here.
Give yourself credit!!!
You admit that you turned your life around and are living a good life!
You have a daughter that you love and care about!
You look after yourself and your health!
You have a regular job!
It sounds like the opposite of how you grew up; Celebrate that!!!
Get a copy of Steven Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - in it he describes "The transition figure" It means somebody who stands up and says "I'm Not my past; I'm doing it differently" You are such a figure, acknowledge it, embrace it, live it, enjoy it, let you light shine for your partner, your daughter and everybody you come into contact with.
I salute you,
Riel
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Mindsets and Set Minds
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Jennifer
Forums Member
Joined: 16 Apr 2011
Posts: 11
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#4 · Posted: 13 Aug 2011 15:18
You've been through a lot in your short life and it's understandable why you feel stressed out by everything. I agree with Vishal - learning and then practicing regular meditation should help tremendously.
I would also look at less traditional ways to relieve stress as well. Methods like Emotional Freedom Technique, Release Technique and the Sedona Method help you take out the negative internal thoughts and feelings that trigger your stress. You can learn more about these methods on you tube. And you can learn EFT to a certain extent on your own. These methods too can you help you effectively deal with stress and become more positive.
Best wishes to you. The best solution for your stress is out there.
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Graylin
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#5 · Posted: 13 Sep 2011 06:08
Hi Goodtimes.
I will cut to the chase. Sounds like you have PTSD. You dont have to be military to have this. I think I may have PTSD from traumas in childhood . I am currently reading Ptsd for Dummies. Excellent. I have spent a life time reading self help. Cognative Behaviour Therapy is the treatment needed to address your mindset and behaviours. The book gives advice on other related therapys and how to find the right person for you. Initially medical drugs can help to settle things down and the therapy can allow you to feel normal again. What ever normal is.
Good Luck.
Let us know your progress.
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